Poem from Animal Crackers

by Groucho Marx, 1928

Did you ever sit and ponder as you walk along the strand,
That life’s a bitter battle at the best;
And if you only knew it and would lend a helping hand,
Then every man can meet the final test.

The world is but a stage my friend,
And life is but a game;
And how you play is all that matters in the end.
For whether a man is right or wrong,
A woman gets the blame;
And your mother is your dog’s best friend.

Then up came mighty Casey and strode up to the bat,
And Sheridan was fifty miles away.
For it takes a heap of loving to make a home like that,
On the road where the flying fishes play.
So be a real-life Pagliacc’ and laugh, clown, laugh.